Control Begins Inside
How to pause, listen to your body, and stop letting the moment run your inner world.
Most of us aren’t trying to be reactive.
We don’t like being thrown off by something we didn’t see coming.
When people talk about “taking control,” it can sound big and dramatic.
For me, control used to mean switching into fix-it mode. Say the right thing, clean it up, and handle it better next time.
Most of the time, it starts much smaller than that.
It starts with noticing what’s happening inside you before you explain it away, judge it, or tell yourself you shouldn’t feel this way.
Pause long enough to notice what’s happening in your body.
Does your heart speed up?
Does your chest flutter?
Does your throat close a little?
Then notice what’s going through your head (not the edited version but the real one that only you need to know).
Write it down or record a voice note on your phone. Let it be messy, tearful, dramatic, and contradictory if that’s what comes up. Speak freely and from your heart.
The initial goal isn’t clarity. It’s about being with the feelings and then giving yourself some compassionate space.
Let things cool for a day or two.
When you come back, read it or listen again.
What do you hear now? What was that moment really about? What did it touch on that you can identify?
Most reactions aren’t just about what happened. They’re about what it reminds us of.
This is where control returns.
Not by shutting yourself down or by fixing everyone else.
It’s about deciding that no one else gets to run your inner world.
Be curious with yourself instead of turning on yourself.
All love,
Sue
We get to decide how we let the outside world affect our inner worlds. Make no mistake; not choosing is still a choice.
I like the idea of sitting with something for a time, and acting when the time feels right.
Thank you for this. Love, Virg