A quick note before we begin….
I’m not a therapist. I’m not here to diagnose, fix, or prescribe anything to you. I am someone who thinks deeply, feels intensely, and has spent years sitting in the mess of my own story, recognizing and untangling patterns, and trying to understand why I react the way I do, especially when I thought I’d already “done the work.”
This rainbow wasn’t built by some big creator or mainstream voice. It was something I built in my mind. It was envisioned in the quiet moments that brought breakthroughs. Time spent journaling, in conversation with others, in my spirals, meditations, walks in nature, and unexpected peace and joy.
The framework was inspired by teachers who shaped me, including Carl Jung, Teal Swan, Michael Singer, Brené Brown, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, and Bishop T.D. Jakes.
I simply added my lived experience to it. This is not about telling you how to be. It’s about giving you a language for what you may already feel… but haven’t known how to name.
To meet yourself where you are. To see the color you’re in. And to know it won’t last forever. Nothing does.
What Is Autopilot?
Autopilot is when your reaction becomes your identity. You’re not choosing a way to react, you are a lit fuse. Lit with emotion, a trigger, or a moment that brings a negative memory flooding back.
You lash out, yell, shut down, people-please, or go numb without even realizing it because it happens so quickly and so instinctually.
It’s not because you’re broken or bad. It’s because your nervous system is trying to protect you, the only way it knows how.
It’s Not the Bottom. It’s Simply One of the Bands
Some people might assume this red layer is the “beginner” stage. It only shows up when you haven’t done enough healing. I specifically wanted to point this out because our mind tends to want to conquer things, and no one wants to be on the bottom rung.
We all spend time coming and going into the red arc. You can re-enter the red arc at any stage of your journey. Anyone who claims they are never triggered may not be telling the truth, or they may have some secret formula that no one else knows.
I’ve done the therapy. The shadow work. The breathwork. The meditations and affirmations. Still, I’ve had moments where someone says something that hits just right and boom.
There I am. In autopilot mode. Snapping a reply and shutting a door. Within seconds, I lose access to the calm voice that’s usually inside me.
Healing didn’t make me immune. It made me aware.
How It Feels in the Red
You feel consumed by the emotion, like there’s no space between the trigger and your reaction.
You act or speak in ways that don’t reflect who you want to be.
Your body may feel tight, hot, defensive, or shut down.
You might feel embarrassed, confused, or drained afterward.
In that moment, the wise part of you is still there, but it’s in the backseat, while your protective reflex takes the wheel.
How You Can Learn From It (Next Time)
Autopilot isn’t something to avoid at all costs. It’s something to get curious about.
Every red moment is a message. It’s saying: “Something here feels unsafe. Something here wants your attention.”
If you can’t catch it in real time, that’s okay. The reflection afterward is just as powerful.
Here’s how you can gently learn from the red:
Replay it without shame. Not to judge, but to understand what part of you showed up.
Ask: What did I believe in that moment? What story was running the show?
Notice patterns: Are there certain people or situations that send you here more often?
Track your body: Where did you feel it first? What did it want to do?
Prompt
What does “autopilot” look like for you?
When was the last time you reacted before you had time to think?
What part of you was trying to protect something?
Practice
Try this when you feel yourself slipping into the red:
1. Name it. “This is an auto-pilot response / red arc moment.”
2. Breathe 3 times before responding.
3. Say (even silently): “I’m safe now. I don’t have to react the old way.”
Even if it’s messy, even if it’s late, naming it is the healing.
You’re Not Broken. You’re Just in the Red.
This is not failure. This is not regression. This is a flare signal from your system saying, “help me hold this.”
You’ll move through it. You’ll catch it sooner next time. And next time, your reaction might be softer or even just a tad less reactive. I find that for me, the response is
shorter or more conscious each time it happens.
There is growth, even in red.
📩 Next up: 🟠 Reacting on Patterns
When you start to see the loop, but still feel stuck in it.
Until then, offer compassion to the shadow version of you that reacts.
She’s not the problem.
She’s the one who survived what you didn’t know how to name.
All love,
Sue
So beautiful to read. Simple way to explain this and your tone makes it human.
The next one ''Reacting on Patterns'' - I've got a PhD on it lol (don't we all)
As usual you are beautiful. Thanks for sharing this. When I read it last time, I got carried away with my own thoughts and forgot to return back. Thanks for sharing them in your current post. It definitely helps!