The Gentle Reset - Day 29
The Patterns That Keeps Returning
Sometimes the biggest truth isn’t a memory. It’s a belief or a feeling that won’t leave.
No matter how much you have grown, some thoughts return, no matter how much progress you’ve made. The brain wants what’s familiar, and it can run the show at times.
You’ve done the journaling, the inner child work, the CBT, the therapy, and the affirmations.
And still, there’s more to excavate. When does it end?
A quiet belief you don’t want to say out loud, because it sounds so… final.
For me, it was:
“I am unlovable as I am.”
I didn’t say this out loud for most of my life.
I didn’t even know it was there.
But it showed up everywhere.
It crept into my family dynamics, showed up in canceled plans, surfaced when I wasn’t invited.
It came roaring to the surface when someone else was chosen before me,
or when I felt invisible, even though I had shown up fully.
This wasn’t a pity story.
It was a wound I didn’t know how to name.
Until I did.
The Clue Is in the Feeling
There’s often a specific set of feelings in a wound.
Mine felt like the fuckin’ depths of despair, spiraling faster downward than I could fight against. Ignore it. Cry it out. Act like you don’t give a shit.
The problem is you do care - probably way more than most.
It felt like a hollow space that no one understands but me.
Like standing in a room where the light is on but no one sees you.
Like being told you are being ‘too sensitive’ one to many times.
When I finally said those words….“I’m unlovable as I am”…. it cracked something open.
I didn’t want to keep holding the pain.
I wanted to finally tell the truth.
You can’t heal when you don’t admit the truth.
But you also can’t expect others to hold feelings you don’t understand yourself.
Naming Isn’t Blaming
This isn’t about blaming the people who hurt you.
It’s about understanding what your inner world took away from those moments.
What your younger self concluded to survive.
What she still believes in the quiet hours when the noise settles and the darkness or stillness can stir the pot of emotions.
If you don’t name the wound, it will keep calling the shots until you do.
🪻 Prompt
What’s the belief that comes up when you’re vulnerable?
What do you feel like you’re always trying to prove or disprove?
If you let yourself say it out loud, what would it be?
🪻 Practice
Notice the pattern.
No fixing. No spiraling. We are only naming it.
Because tomorrow is Day 30 and we’ve done this work for a reason — to meet it head-on. Name it. Process it. Accept it.
And we’ll offer it something new to ponder.
All love,
Sue
Milkweed - home to the Monarch butterfly!
Oh, I definitely know what mine is. This process really resonated with me. I've worked with these thoughts and beliefs before and when you recall the emotion and impact when you finally named it -- wow. I remember the moment I did that, too. Tears flowed. that was it. This was revealed to me when I was doing Byron Katie's "The Work" with a partner. Naming it is so powerful and an important step!