At this stage in the self-awareness rainbow, you’re no longer reacting on autopilot. You’re no longer blind to what’s happening; you see it. You feel it.
You know the feeling, and you know the triggers. Sometimes, you will even know where they come from. This doesn’t mean you never fall back into the pattern.
This is the orange arc of the Rainbow of Self-Awareness. Clarity is growing, but habits are still louder.
How This Differs From Reacting on Autopilot
This is different than reacting on autopilot. In the red arc, you’re lit with the emotion. There’s no space, no pause, no awareness.
In orange, something shifts. You’re watching yourself in the pattern. You can name what’s happening, even if you haven’t figured out how to stop it yet.
That awareness is powerful. It’s the beginning of change.
It’s About More Than “Knowing Better”
This stage can be particularly frustrating because you know what is happening, yet you struggle to implement what you need at the moment. This wound may not be new to you. You may have read a bunch of books about it and even journaled your feelings about how it feels and where you think it came from.
You can even name it while it’s happening:
“I’m people-pleasing right now.”
“I’m getting triggered again.”
“I’m avoiding something to feel safe.”
The reason you can’t shift your response in the moment is that the new pathway hasn’t been wired yet. The emotional muscle memory still takes over.
This is not a failure. You’re aware, but have not yet put a new response into practice.
What This Stage Feels Like
There is a sting that comes with the practice required to change how we respond. You will watch yourself repeat what you swore you wouldn’t. It’s a bit of a mind fuck, this weird blend of self-awareness and self-judgment.
You may feel frustrated and like giving up. What is the sense in actually trying? Well, this is exactly when you need to double down - because you are halfway to conquering this beast.
There’s nothing lazy, wrong, broken or weird about you. You are simply in a place where your body still needs to practice catching up to your mind.
What’s Happening Here?
This behavior change is an unlearning. Unlearning is just as important as learning. Unlearning is messy and complicated because it goes against everything you ever knew. You are interrupting years of survival responses, decades of approval seeking, avoiding conflict, and overperforming to keep the peace.
In orange, you’ve woken up to the loop. You’re watching it run. You just haven’t hit stop yet. That’s still huge progress, and it’s important to give yourself credit for it.
Prompt
What’s a pattern you keep repeating, even though you know it does not serve you any longer?
When did you first notice it?
What does that part of you still hope to gain by repeating it?
Practice
Next time you notice the loop happening, try this:
1. Say to yourself (with compassion): “Here we are again.”
2. Shift from judgment to curiosity: “What do I need right now?”
3. Interrupt the pattern with one small act of self-trust. This could be a pause (my favorite way). It might mean saying ‘no’. It might mean not answering that text or email right away. One micro-interruption is enough to begin the shift.
You’re in the Practice Arc
Orange is messy, but it is for everyone. It’s a beautiful stage where you have your eyes wide open, even if your reactions haven’t fully caught up.
It’s a wobbly space, and that’s ok. It’s part of the process of unlearning. You are learning to lead your life, instead of letting your patterns lead you.
This is badass work. It’s self-love.
📩 Up next: 🟡 Processing
When awareness grows, but the weight of change feels heavy. You’re not doing it wrong. You are moving deeper.
All love,
Sue
This is precisely what I needed to read this morning, Susan. This is the topic I have been writing about this week, too. I can see that my struggle is in the messy unlearning part. It is so hard and takes so much practice, as you say, to wire our brains into a new, healthier way of thinking and acting. I need to remember that and be patient with myself.